Saturday, August 16, 2014

I am pretty sure I'm going to kill myself

I have thought about suicide for as long as I can remember. There has always been a fear and guilt associated with it when the thought crossed my mind. How could I make such a permanent discision? How could I do that to the very few people who actually care about me? Things have changed. The fear is gone and has become a desire. The guilt is waning rapidly. People who want to live will move on. I will be forgotten. I am so alone I realize that it's time. Nobody else to blame. And it just doesn't matter. Nothing about me will be missed for too long. It just doesn't matter. I don't matter.